Relapse or is it??

I would like to touch on a subject that is quite controversial in the feild of recovery......RELAPSE. I remember attending my first AA meeting years ago. When this young man, who looked to be in his mid 20's, walked up to the front of the room. In his hand he held a stack of chips, which at the time I did not understand, called sobriety chips. He very solemnly handed the chips to the man that was running the group that night and began to cry softly. All I could hear was three almost inaudible words come from his mouth, "I drank again." He proceeded to explain that after five years of sobriety, he had been celebrating his ten year wedding anniversary and he had a single glass of champagne. I am a friend of AA but trust me as a counselor it took me everything and I mean EVERYTHING to remain seated. Why? Because here is a man who had a drink....A DRINK, not three, not even two. He said he was celebrating his 10 wedding anniversary. The moderator simply said, "Son you relapsed and I am sorry but I am going to have to take your sobriety chips."

I shook my head in complete disbelief, got up and walked out.......RELAPSE?? Here is a man who has been sober for years and one drink can makes him the person he once was?? Back into full addiction?? Well I say NO.....HELL NO!!!! How does any counselor/sponsor/family member/friend/physician look a person in their eyes and tell them they have relapsed from one use?? Here is a person who has been clean and sober for years, and now one mistake defines a relapse. Wow, what a great time to kick someone when they are down.

First of all, people need to wake up and realize a persons addiction does not define them as a person. It is a unhealthy choice a person once made for themselves but it does not define their moral character. And second, people change, most of the time they are better today then they ever were in their past, hence the term past mistakes.

It is like telling someone all their hard work was for nothing. Now, that information definitely could provoke a person back into daily addiction or addictive behaviors. Shaming someone, making them think they failed by labeling their action as a relapse. But I don't feel one bump in the road, defines failure. To me relapse is a term that is used far to loosely in the feild of addiction. Let's face the facts relapse is a money making term. If you relapse you need more counseling, or do you? Wouldn't a good counselor say, you made a mistake. Your a good person, so let's get back on the road and keep walking. NOT well you made one mistake so you relapsed, so I am sorry but all these years of being clean and sober where for nothing because you my friend are back at square A!!

So maybe instead of being so quick to label a mistake as a relapse, we as a whole could define it for what it is.....a hiccup in the road. A life lesson that happened once. Therefore, a now healthy person does not feel like they have an excuse to go back to using. Or shame themselves back into using. Or feel like they failed because they acknowledged their mistake. A healthy person acknowledges their mistakes and MOVES ON!!! As a counselor/sponsor/family member/friend/physican I think it is our responsibility to not define people in recovery as their addiction, but acknowledge THEM FOR THEIR SUCCESS. Because recovery or not EVERYONE has a past. And everyone of us have made a mistake somewhere along the line. So the next time you want to be so quick to label a persons mistake.........ALWAYS REMEMEMBER YOU CAN'T DRIVE FORWARD IF YOUR LOOKING IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR!!!